What is your celery?

What is your celery?

What is that one thing that you always buy when you are out and about (whether you need it or not)?

My celery is actually celery. I buy it and then toss it in the fridge and tend to forget about it until I am at the store again and then I buy some more and toss that into the fridge too. Mind you, I never actually eat the celery, I just buy it. This is completely compulsory on my part. I don’t even really like celery, but somehow I feel better knowing that I could eat it if I wanted to and that all is right in the world by me having celery on hand.

Now, I was completely and happily unaware of this slight obsession with celery until the day my husband said, “Jesus Christ Sylvia! How much f****** celery do we need?” Wow, there it was…my dirty little secret, my strange need for crispy green things. Once revealed, I started thinking about it more as I tend to do when someone points something out about me or my behavior and I realized that I have an unhealthy relationship with vegetables in general. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE a good salad, but it is borderline cruel what I seem to do to vegetables. I buy them and leave them in the crisper drawer (with the best intentions of eating them) until they turn to a blend of grayish smelly ooze.

But guess what? I am not alone in this behavior. I notice other people’s celery now and it says something about us all. My husband’s celery is men’s body wash. At last count, we had 10 bottles of assorted scents. My mom’s celery is books (she has 2 and 3 copies of the same book x 20). My sister’s celery is underwear. We counted one time and she had over 50 pairs. (I mean damn!) If you think about it, we all have some kind of celery. What is yours?

Update 10/10/18: You’ll be happy to know (maybe) that we now vermicompost, so I don’t let veggies go bad anymore or if I do, the worms can eat them and turn them in the compost for us. 😁

One Comment

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  1. Perhaps you might consider cucumber scented shampoo? Cucumber and celery are close cousins.

    Me, I tend to stick with the classics, so it is currently sweet pea by Suave. Suave has never let me down when it comes to coiffing.

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